


I always will

by lupinsmoons



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Azkaban, M/M, angsty, happy husbands eventually, jkr hate club, sort of canon compliant mostly not, this isn't very good, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-13
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-12 16:21:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29387622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lupinsmoons/pseuds/lupinsmoons
Summary: He had escaped.Remus never thought he would hear those words, ricocheting off the walls like a bullet he's so desperate to dodge. He remembers standing completely frozen on the spot, the only movement being the slight tremor in his hands.A short drabble, Sirius escapes and is found innocent. Not very canon-compliant, Sirius has been in Azkaban for 15 years, Tonks works at Hogwarts, Harry is in his final year, it's set in the 2000s, Pettigrew gets hit by a car lol
Relationships: Remus Lupin/Nymphadora Tonks, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 1
Kudos: 26





	I always will

He had escaped. 

Remus never thought he would hear those words, ricocheting off the walls like a bullet he's so desperate to dodge. He remembers standing completely frozen on the spot, the only movement being the slight tremor in his hands. Minerva stepped forward first, putting a gentle hand on his elbow. Remus jolted then, his eyes blowing wide and his face heating up, "Remus, let's step outside." She had said softly, aware of the eyes boring into him. 

"I'm okay." He whispered, shaking his head lightly. This was fine. He was fine. 

"No, you're not, you're in shock." 

"Minerva, the bloke says he's okay, stop making a fuss!" Mad-Eye snapped indignantly, giving a small huff as he took a swig from his flask. 

Tonks spoke next. "He's not okay." She muttered, stepping towards her boyfriend and Minerva, "Remus, love, let us take you outside." She whispered and he nodded, not looking at anyone as he let himself be guided out the room by his girlfriend and former professor. 

"Sit down, dear." Minerva said, pushing Remus back until the backs of his knees touched the plush of the couch behind him. He doesn't remember what room they had taken him into. 

But it was then he had finally spoken. 

"He's escaped." He whispered, he remembers Tonks kneeling in front of him, holding his hand tightly. 

"News broke this morning. Albus is in contact with the Ministry. It will be in the papers tonight. How are you feeling?" Minerva was sat next to him, handing him a glass of water. He doesn't know where she got it from. 

"He can't have escaped. Why the fuck has he escaped?"

"He has. And this is Sirius Black we're talking about, Remus. When have you ever known him to not break rules?"

"I don't know him anymore, Minnie." He remembers saying quietly, almost a chuckle in his voice, but Tonks had already started talking before anyone could respond.

"He isn't some rebel student of yours anymore, Minerva! This is Sirius Black. He's a murderer!" She exclaimed and Minerva tutted softly. 

"She doesn't believe he did it." Remus explains quietly, not meeting his girlfriend's eyes. 

"What?! How can you not believe it?!"

"Because I knew Sirius Black from the age of 11. I taught him and looked after him for five years. I know my students, Nymphadora. I especially knew Remus, James, Peter, and Sirius." 

"I... I can't believe this." 

"This isn't important right now. Have they got any idea where he is? Where he could possibly go? Minnie, the students-"

"Are all perfectly safe here in this castle. You, my dear, are Albus' main concern. You are the only one Black has left." 

"You think he would try to find me?" 

"It's possible. Albus wants to keep you under his watch. Personally, I hope he finds you-"

"Have you gone mad?"

"Nymphadora, stop!" Remus didn't mean to snap. 

"Don't call me that." 

"I'm sorry, just..."

"Miss Tonks," Remus remembers Albus walking in, he remembers him sitting down across the room. "You must understand that this is before your time. You never knew him. Nor James or Peter. Sirius was never allowed a trial. We never heard his side of the story. James would have wanted him to have a fair chance, he would have wanted the truth."

"He _killed_ Peter!"

This is where it gets hazy for Remus. He remembers Minerva shouting and Tonks gasping. He remembers Albus calmly explaining that Peter hadn't died that night. That they had discovered he was living as a rat, having cut off his finger and fleeing the scene. Dead now, of course. Killed himself as soon as Dumbledore found out. Transformed and escaped. Ran under a car in the nearest muggle village he could get to in his animagus form. They had no proof other than Albus' memory. 

He had to tell himself that night, that Sirius Black may be an innocent man.

The man he called his best friend for five years and boyfriend for four may be innocent.

-

It was a few days later when he finally confronted Minerva. 

"Why didn't you tell me about Peter?" 

"Dumbledore made me swear. He said there had to be a right time for you to find out. I promise I kept asking him when that was." She sighed,

"When did this happen exactly?"

"Over summer, not long ago. It was the Weasley boys rat. We had our suspicions late last year after we realised how long it had been alive, then when we found out a toe was missing it just made sense. Dumbledore stole the rat before they left. Don't tell him or Harry. They can't know yet. Weasley thinks the rat ran away."

"Do the ministry know?"

"Of course not. They wouldn't believe us. They've never accepted Dumbledore's memories as evidence, despite the pensieve." 

"What if he's innocent, Minnie?" 

"I don't know, Remus. I don't know." 

-

He was first sighted in Hogsmeade. It caused panic and anger amongst the students. They wanted to know what was going on.

Every day, Remus was faced with a hand in their air, begging to be told exactly who Sirius Black is and if he would be able to get into Hogwarts. 

If he was going to kill again. 

-

After becoming a professor at Hogwarts, Remus fell back into the pattern of retreating to the Shrieking Shack every full moon. He didn't need to, not really.   
With Wolfsbane being so readily available he could easily retreat to his office and curl up under the desk until morning, but something about following the tunnel down under the Whomping Willow and curling up on the old four-poster bed in the abandoned house made him feel safe.   
Poppy Pomfrey came and checked on him each morning, just like she used to when he was young, but he no longer needed cuts and injuries attended to.   
Being a werewolf is a lot safer now than it was when he was a student. 

When he found himself preparing for the first full moon since Black's escape was announced, Minerva came to see him while he was packing up his desk after a day of classes. "He's been sighted again. Near the castle."

"You think he's going to look for me."

"He knows you, Remus. You might not want to believe it but he knows you and he knows where you'll be. He doesn't know about the potion, he thinks you still need to lock yourself away. Poppy won't be checking on you in the morning. Take this, it's a muggle device, I got them from Arthur Weasley, I have one too, and if anything happens you can contact me on it as soon as you transform back-"

"Yes, I know how a phone works, Minnie." He laughed softly, "do you think he'll get in?" 

"He made the map with you, Remus. He knows the routes in and out. He'll get past the dementors easily. We need him to find you. He deserves a trial." 

"I know he does." 

So, just as night began to fall, Remus followed his usual route through the Whomping Willow and into the Shrieking Shack. 

He fell asleep soundly, curled up on the bed. He didn't look up when a black dog walked into the room and lay on the floor at the end of the bed. 

-

He transformed back into his human self when the sunlight hit. 

He looked down at the dog he hadn't seen for 15 years. 

"Hello, Padfoot." He said softly. His brain screamed at him, telling him he should be scared. He wasn't. 

The dog looked up, eyes shining before he sat up and immediately transfigured into the man Remus hadn't seen for so long. 

He was in his Azkaban uniform, tattered and filthy from 15 years of wear. His skin was pale and his face gaunt. Remus felt his heart clench at the sight of him. 

"Moony..." Sirius whispered, legs shaking slightly, "Moony, please, before you do anything, you have to listen to me-"

"I'm going to. I know about Peter. I know you didn't kill him."

"I didn't kill anyone, Remus! It was all him! He was their secret keeper!"

"What?!" Remus wasn't expecting that.

"I convinced James to change at the last minute. It's my fault they're dead, but I didn't _kill_ anyone. I don't know how you'll ever believe me but-"

"Sirius, I already believe you. So does Minerva. She never thought it was you. Dumbledore knows now too." 

"Oh my god." Sirius stumbles, his legs giving way as he falls onto the bed, "Moony, I-"

"I thought it was you. I thought you betrayed them. I hated you for so long." 

"I would rather die than betray my friends." 

"I know. I don't know why I ever doubted that. Dumbledore knows you're here. We're going to get you a trial. The ministry has changed. The people in power are better. So much has changed, Padfoot." 

"Tell me."

"I can work now, despite the lycanthropy. I'm a professor-"

"I know you are. They let me read The Daily Prophet in Azkaban, I think it was because I didn't show signs of madness like the others. Defence Against the Dark Arts. Our Moony!"

Remus kept going. "And there's a potion for werewolves that means I can just sleep through it. I don't get hurt anymore." Remus can see the tears in Sirius' eyes, "Harry is at Hogwarts, final year now. He's James all over. He's so smart, so talented and so kind. He lives with me and... He lives with me and my girlfriend, Nymphadora."

"Girlfriend?" 

"Yeah. Andromeda's daughter. We've been together for two years."

"I'm happy for you. And Harry, he's doing good in school?"

"Yeah, he wants to be an Auror." 

"Brilliant. I wish... I wish I could have watched him grow up." 

"Sirius, we're gonna fix this. You're gonna be cleared, we'll do it somehow, and then Harry can meet his godfather."

"I've missed you and your hopeless optimism so much." Sirius whispers and Remus frowns, 

"It's not hopeless. You have Dumbledore on your side. Peter is dead now, but Albus has the memory of finding him. That can't count for nothing." 

-

It was everything. 

Sirius was allowed a trial, after 15 years. 

He was found not guilty. 

Peter Pettigrew was found guilty of the murder of 12 muggles, despite him being dead. 

Each member took it in turns to look into the pensieve, watching the memory of Dumbledore and Minerva uncovering the secret of the rat. 

They _believed_ Sirius. 

He was free. 

Remus introduced Sirius to Harry. He called him into his classroom at lunch.

"Harry, how much do you know about Sirius Black?" He had asked, the morning after the trial. 

"Not much, just that he was found innocent yesterday and Ron's _rat_ was the reason my parents are dead, not the man they locked away." 

"You know your how father was Prongs and I'm Moony?"

"Yes?"

"Peter was Wormtail. Sirius is Padfoot." 

"Oh."

"He and your father were like brothers. Sirius left his parents home when he was young and your grandparents took him in as their own. Those two were inseparable." 

"Wow. Really?" 

"Yeah. Sirius was the first person to hold you after your mum and dad when you were born. They, um... They actually made him your godfather." 

"He... Sirius Black is my godfather?" 

"Yes. Now, I have to admit I've been lying to you a bit. I was actually the first person to meet Sirius after his escape. He found me in the Shrieking Shack. Dumbledore, Professor Mcgonagall and I have been keeping him safe there until we could get him a fair trial. You know he was cleared last night. You know he wasn't responsible for your parent's deaths. He would like to meet you, Harry. But only if you want to. It's completely up to you." 

"Of course I want to. I have _family_ left?!"

"Hey! What are me and Tonks?" 

"Well, obviously you're like family to me but he's like... on my records as my legal guardian? He's _family?_ Legally?"

"Yes, he is." 

"I want to meet him. When can I?" 

"He's, uh... He's here. I'll go get him." 

Remus stood and put his hand on Harry's shoulder briefly before he walked up the steps behind his desk and into his office, he shut the door carefully behind himself. Sirius was sat in the chair in the corner, reading an old magazine. 

"He wants to meet you." Remus said softly and Sirius grinned openly, 

"He does?"

"Yeah. Come on." 

Sirius followed Remus out of the office and down the steps, Harry stood abruptly, waiting to greet him. 

"Harry. Wow, you look so much like your father." Sirius said, in complete awe. "Except your eyes, you-"

"Have my mother's eyes." Harry smiled and Remus couldn't help but laugh quietly. 

He watched silently as his first love embraced the boy he treated like a son. 

-

Sirius was able to rent a cottage just outside of Hogsmeade. He was close enough to Hogwarts to see Harry and Remus but he had space. He had freedom. 

Remus visited him almost every night. 

Things were going well. 

Until they weren't. 

-

It happened by accident. 

They got tipsy on firewhiskey, just him and Sirius in the cottage, reminiscing and laughing. 

"Moony..."

"Yeah, Pads?" 

"When did you accept that we weren't together anymore?" 

"I mean... you getting locked up was kind of a no brainer. But Tonks is the first person I've been with since you, if thats what you're asking." 

"I missed you every day." Sirius said sadly, "you never visited." 

"I know." 

"I wish you did."

"I couldn't. I was angry. I was so angry." Remus hiccuped lightly, his head spinning a bit. 

"Did you really believe I did it?" 

"Yes." 

Sirius slams his glass down. 

"How?! How could you believe I would betray them?! James was my _brother_!"

"I... I don't know. I'm sorry." 

"No... No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled. Of course you believed it. Everyone did. He framed me well." 

"Not everyone, Minnie never-"

"Minnie isn't you. You believed it." 

"Sirius, I'm sorry. What was I supposed to think? Peter was gone. People were dead. I thought you were secret keeper." 

"I was innocent." 

"And I was stuck here. All my friends were gone. No one trusted me. I was outcast. No one cared." 

"I cared! Every fucking full moon I would think of you and _wish_ I could be there helping you get through it." 

"Well, you weren't!" Remus didn't mean to yell. "You weren't. You were locked up. It was seven years before wolfsbane became available to me. Another four before the ministry changed and Lycanthropy was finally discussed. I have only been treated as a human for near on five fucking years." 

"I'm sorry." Sirius whispered, "I should have been there. I should have... I don't know. There was nothing I could do. They didn't even give me a trial."

"I know. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to shout." 

"You know, I never stopped loving you."

"I... You're drunk, Pads." 

"Not much. I mean it. I have loved you all this time." 

"I... I think I've loved you too. I just had to move on." 

"Have you moved on?" 

"Yes. Tonks-"

"Are you happy?"

"What?"

"Are you happy? With her?" 

"Why are you asking me that?" 

"Because I fucking love you, Moony." 

"You... No, Sirius. We aren't doing this. You've been away for 15 years. Tonks and Harry are my life now. "

"You didn't answer the question." 

"Merlin... fine. No, Sirius. I am not happy. I haven't been happy for 15 years. I haven't been happy since I found my friends dead on the floor, since I sat in Minerva's office, unable to speak or eat or move, listening to the man on the radio explain that my boyfriend had been put in prison! I am not happy. I haven't been happy for a long time, I've just learnt to accept it!" Remus didn't realise he had started crying until Sirius sat down next to him, taking the glass from his hand and replacing it with their fingers intertwined. 

"You deserve to be happy."

"Bit late for that." 

"Why? I'm here, aren't I?" Sirius had always been a little too confident. "You were happy with me." 

"Of course I was. But I do love Tonks." 

"But would you be happy? If you were with me now?"

"I can't answer that." 

"You can't or you won't?" Sirius whispered, leaning closer to Remus, their lips only inches away from each others.

"Both." Remus sighed, eyes slipping shut. 

Sirius kissed him. 

Remus was suddenly 16 again, kissing the love of his life behind a concealment charm in their dorm room. 

"Don't make me choose between you and her, Padfoot." He whispered calmly, not meeting the eyes burning into him as he dropped the man's hand, 

"why not? Why the fuck not, Remus? Because you'll choose her?" Sirius snapped, chest tightening.

Remus is silent for a few seconds. 

"Because I won't choose her. I can't choose her. After all this time, after all I've been through with her, I'd still choose you." 

"Y-You would." 

"Yes." 

-

Surprisingly, Tonks had seen it coming. After Remus sobbed in front of her, apologising profusely, she just kissed him on the cheek, stroked his hair and whispered kindly, "I've known for a while, darling. I see the way you look at him. I know what you were in school. I understand. Just promise to always be in my life." 

Harry was more difficult to tell. 

"You were dating in school?" He asked, eyebrows furrowed, 

"Yes. For a few years. I... I thought I had been able to move on. I love Tonks, I really do, but with Sirius back I can't lie to myself. It's always been him." 

"Okay... That's fine. I understand. But... What happens now? With me? Where do I go?" 

"I've spoken to Tonks and Sirius, you have two options. You can stay in the house with her, or you can move in with me and Sirius. There is a second bedroom in his cottage that you are more than welcome to."

"Would Tonks be upset if I left?"

"Of course not. She would obviously still want to see you, but she wouldn't be upset." 

"Okay. I think I need to stay with you... You've been... You've been like a dad to me. And Sirius is my godfather. I should live with you both. I want to live with you two."

"I'm really glad to hear that, Harry. Sirius will be thrilled. Right, you better get going, class starts soon." 

"Hey, Remus?" 

"Yes, Harry?"

"Are you happy?" 

The question takes him back slightly. "Excuse me?" 

"You've always been so sad. Does Sirius make you happy?" 

"He really does, Harry."

"Good. That's good."

-

"He's going to live with us." Remus announced as he walked into Sirius living room, dropping his briefcase down and throwing his travel robes over the armchair, 

"he is?!" Sirius beamed, jumping off the sofa and rushing over to Remus, he wraps the werewolf up in a tight hug. 

"Yeah. He wants to live with us." 

"Amazing. We're gonna be a family. I'm going to have a _family._ "

"You've always had a family, Padfoot. Things got messed up, so messed up, but I've always been here." 

"Remus John Lupin, I love you. I am so sorry for everything I've put you through. I will never let you down again, never. I am yours forever, my moony. I love you with every fibre of my being." 

"You soft git, I love you too. I always will." 


End file.
